Yesterday the "Incredibles" reading group wrote a poem about the best things about "seasons". Firstly we read a Journal poem, then we worked out the rhyming pattern, and what each line was about in each verse, so we could try to write our own poem. Once we did our first draft together, we proofread the poem (by fixing spelling mistakes), then we edited the poem (by finding even better words use).
This is the poem:
Incredible Seasons
I walk to the best school with my brother
Sun smiles across the cloudless sky
Birds chirping drowsily as they fly
I can't wait to see my friends
Training for my competitive hockey games
Warm coloured leaves crunching on the ground
Wind swirling all around
My team is awesome and we will win!
I need my warm scarf and my cosy gloves
Wind gusting through my hair
Thunderstorms give me such a scare
Snuggling up at home curled up in my blankets
I kick my school bag into my wardrobe
Sparkling tinsel and glitter spilled on the floor
A colourful wreath on the door
I cant wait for christmas!!!
Published by FisKyl and MosSam (for the Incredibles)
7 years ago
2 comments:
Well done "Incredibles", and thanks to the two publishers. This is a very well written poem, and matches the rhyming pattern and line meaning ideas from the original poem beautifully.
I love the way you show pride in our school by calling it "the best school". I get a real feeling of the four seasons from reading your words.
I have added a little to your introduction to explain the method you used. Would one of you like to add the original poem name and reference to the Journal it was from so that if other children are reading the BLOG, they may also share the original poem at their school.
I wonder whether you should also credit Schwin for her help in working with you on this poem?
Maybe this poem should be published in our School newsletter or on the Website? You could ask TooVic if she would like to use it.
From Moodeb
... Oooh and one more thing - some illustrations would add even more to this writing. Maybe someone from the Incredibles would like to draw some?
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